The havoc of tiny fingers and tiny toes

Published on by Diya

So the other day we had a few friends over for dinner. One of these couples have a baby under 2 years of age.

Now I am not the world’s cleanest person (Cue : Hubby’s snort of derision). It takes monumental willpower for me to summon the cleaning goddess within me and to make the house spic and span.

I cannot be the only person in the world who thinks that cleaning is a waste of time because Duh! It’s going to get messy again in no time, right? And when you live in a bustling city in a desert, you could be dusting 24/7 and still not get a handle on the mounds of dust bunnies running amok in your home. But I digress.

So we were having guests over and therefore took the effort to make the house a little more presentable than usual. What we did not account for was that there would be a pair of tiny hands and tiny feet that we completely underestimated.

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Don’t get me wrong, I love the little tyke. In the short time that I’ve known them, this little one has laid claim to a rather large corner of my heart. But in no time at all we had cake smeared into carpets, food crumbs on our tile, miniature sticky hand-prints on our furniture and associated general chaos. We spent the evening diving across the floor trying to save our glassware from imminent doom. Our fragile souvenirs had to be wrestled from tiny hands with a surprisingly strong grip. The furniture had to be moved around to block access to dangerously tempting stairwells and seductive electrical wiring.

What set off this post is my absolute amazement that anyone who has a toddler around also has a home fit for human visitation. There is NO WAY that anyone with a toddler can have a visitor-ready home. If you do, it has to be an optical illusion of some sort and you must share the secret with us ignorant masses. Perhaps you have a Mary Poppins stashed away somewhere?

And yet when we pay a visit to our friends with young children, their homes are neat to a fault. How on earth do you parents manage it? How? HOW?

This to me is currently the most mysterious mystery in the universe. The Evolution Vs. Creation debate pales in comparison. Please tell me I am not the only one who feels this way.

If somehow you have managed to achieve the Clean Home + Toddler combination without the use of sorcery, you have my utmost respect and unmatched devotion. I bow down to your greatness!

Now if only I knew how to summon Mary Poppins…

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27 thoughts on “The havoc of tiny fingers and tiny toes”

  1. What a post! Hilarious! It’s a feat I can assure you and some days I simply throw in the towel – literally. It’s amazing how fast the little ones’ can move and how much hurricane they cause. One just learns to put things away and maybe not buy certain stuff 🙂

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  2. Their homes are neat because everything is stashed in a cupboard! Just DON’T open the doors. Our “toddler” is 7 and we still have to protect the house from him/him from the house. We have a fence across the living room to keep the wood burner and TV safe from prying fingers. He can climb it but because it’s A Rule he doesn’t do it which is interesting psychology. And don’t ask about the cage around the stairs. That still brings out a cold sweat!
    Wet wipes are the world’s greatest invention too, great for instant mopdowns and the anti-bac ones even make the place smell clean!
    We avoided the crumbs issue by producing a child crossed with a vacuum cleaner, honestly, feed them with nothing but breastmilk and dirt and they have an immune system to stun science.
    Our funny moment was at MIL’s spotlessly clean house. Somehow he found a dead fly behind the sofa!
    Glad you love the little tyke though.

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    1. Hahaha… omg I laughed so hard at this comment! 😀 I could imagine an avalanche of stuff descending on me if I made the mistake of opening a cupboard door 😀 Baby crossed with a vacuum cleaner! Now there’s an invention worth a Nobel Prize or two 😉 And the dead fly… ROFL! 😀

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    1. Awwww…. thank you so much hon :* All credit goes to the parents who maintain spotless homes. I’m still finding stray crumbs and sticky handprints from that visit 😉 😀

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  4. Pingback: Posts Of Note – Week 25 – A Kinder Way

    1. Ahem! No arguing with you there. Hubster is ready to sing a litany of my housekeeping fails to all and sundry 😉 But kids? That’s a whole other ballgame my friend 🙂

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  6. The trick is to keep everything locked up and just don’t own anything nice lol With 3 under 4yrs old we just don’t have very much right now since it would get damaged.

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    1. Gulp… I can just imagine all the goodies in a powder room that would be so tempting to tiny fingers 🙂 Speaking of powder, my colleague was telling me the other day that his eldest made a video of his youngest emptying out the contents of a brand new packet of baby powder. The video lasted a good 4-5 minutes and rather than stop the baby, the toddler just stood off to the side and video-ed the whole thing! His wife entered the room a moment later to find a baby who could have given Casper the ghost a run for his money 😀

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    1. Very clever strategy! 🙂 By the way I have been binge watching your videos and am finding them super helpful and inspirational 🙂 Even went so far as to make my first attempt with pastels 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing! 😀

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  10. Well if you came over to mine it wouldn’t be neat to a fault. But if I didn’t know you well I’d at least make it presentable. It is possible…. clean while one is napping and the other is either occupied with playdough or some other ‘sitting down not throwing toys’ craft or just stuff them in front of the TV. 😀

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    1. Stuff them in front of the TV! 😀 😀 Whatever did parents do before the TV was invented? I’ve seen it being used for everything from cleaning to feeding to nap times. Invaluable! 🙂

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  11. BWAHAHAHAHA!! I’m sorry. I HAD to laugh. The visual pictures were so clear! And no you ARE NOT ALONE in that quandry of how does the mother with toddlers DO IT? I never had any children myself and it’s widely known among my real life associates/relatives/friends/church members that I DO NOT LIKE CHILDREN. So I haven’t had to do that child-proofing dance since I was a lot younger and my siblings reproduced. The last time there was a child in my home (my step-son’s girlfriend of the moment), I recall the look of horror on her face as her 18 month old (I think the kid was around that old) came out from behind our couch with a well-worn and excessively dirty dog chewy toy in it’s mouth. Hey it was a CHEWY TOY…and the dog’s mouth was clean,right? I never saw that woman nor her offspring ever again as my step-son and she parted ways (maybe partially due to the fact that his father and me didn’t live in a child-proof home). I have a friend who is primary care-giver for her almost two year old grand-daughter and I hear vast amounts of stories about this kid and her unerring ability to give Grandma grey hair. She pulls open drawers, opens the refrigerator and takes out food, has mastered the pantry door and likes to play “store’ with all grandma’s food in there. She has been given markers (I suspect they must be washable ones) and draws on my friend’s pristine white walls. Fragile pieces of art have had to be moved to high shelves. There are child-proof plugs in the wall sockets. So see? No. You’re not alone. AT all! Have a good day dear and thanks again for the good laugh! 😀

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    1. Hahaha… this is THE most hilarious comment I have ever had on this blog. Period.

      I can just imagine the horror of seeing your baby emerge from behind the sofa with a chew toy 😀 😀 And someone actually willingly gave a baby markers?!?! Mon dieu! 😀 😀

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  12. Lol Diya! I used to think just like you before having a tiny tot of my own but I am getting a hang of it now! 😉 Child-proofing is an art in itself! Getting tempting things out of their reach (or the things they throw’s reach) and keeping them busy with activities is a talent! Still learning here! 😉 😉 😉

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